SPOOKYSONGS

My Son the Vampire – Allan Sherman
A Total Loss.

Allan Sherman is best known for his hit song “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah”, which has delighted children and weirdos for generations. A fun fact is Lynyrd Skynyrd got their name from a line in that song mentioning Leonard Skinner. Here’s how different the pop world was then – when Sherman released his debut album “My Son, the Folk Singer” in 1962, it was the fastest selling album of all time. Bigger than Elvis, bigger than Orbison, bigger than “Ahab the Arab”!

Sherman’s followup to “My Son, the Folk Singer” was “My Son, the Celebrity”, which was quickly followed by “My Son, the Nut.”

Which leads us here. While the Beatles were tearing up England, the hottest biggest musical superstar in America was Allan Sherman.

Now, I have no idea why, but for some reason, in 1963, a small British film from 1952 called “Mother Riley Meets the Vampire” was sent over to America. This was probably due to the popularity of drive-ins at the time, and theaters desperate for anything remotely related to horror. But how could they freshen a 10 year old movie for today’s horny teens?

That’s right. You call Allan Freakin’ Sherman. Warner Bros convinced Allan to record a new song for the film. Allan sent them the obviously titled “My Son, the Vampire”… which was not what the film was about. So, instead of saying “Could you try again?”, they decided to just RENAME THE MOVIE. So “Mother Riley Meets the Vampire” became “My Son, The Vampire”. And, to have the movie make sense, Sherman filmed a segment at the beginning of the movie explaining what it was all about. Audiences were stupider then.

So, TA-DA! It was a rousing… failure. One reviewer called it “stupid, humourless and repulsive”, which was my Tinder tagline for a bit. I guess not everything Sherman touched turned to gold.

“But what of the song”, you say? It’s alright. His son runs around yelling “BLOOOOOOD!” which sounds like “BLAW” or “BLAH”. There’s also a “funny” moment when you think he’s gonna say a swear, but changes it at the last second. What a rascal! It’s a lounge-style jazz number with fairly good instrumentation. I do like the bit at the end when he says blood is delicious and utters a rousing “YUM YUM!”.

Sherman’s schtick didn’t last long once the Beatles got to America. He made a few bitter old man records, then faded into obscurity. His “12 Days of Christmas” pops up every now and then on Christmas playlists. It’s funny in a “dear god that’s not funny” way.

“Mother Riley Meets the Vampire” is… terrible. It features Bela Lugosi at his absolute career nadir and I couldn’t make it through the whole thing. Boring.

Ha ha?